The Baby Steps Back

"God did not cause Peter's failure, but great good came out of it. It was a part of the stripping of God's man—permitted to reveal what was rooted deep in the inner man. Only failure could expose the pride and self-sufficiency. Failure broke Peter down and revealed to him his need for absolute dependence on his Lord for everything, including his purity and righteousness." -David Wilkerson

I do not understand everything i am seeing currently, but i know i am never alone. So my Spring semester is coming to a closing chapter. I have learn so much about my faith and reason. I have have finally came to conclusion that i have a purpose that is beyond this world. Truly it is difficult to stop trying being my own prideful person, but it in failures that i can see my faults. I hate trying, i hate pushing beyond my own strength because every time it just shows how much i try to rely less on my Savior.

Hebrews 12

I am forever a Son of God and i should understand that. It never crossed my mind the importance of really calling Abba Father. A loving Father always watching from a distance, but steps in before things get out of control. We are called to be free, yet disciplined. Christians and myself should come to realization that this religious act is flawed. Its a joke. It serves as a foundation to build the stronger foundation, which is the Word of God, but who wants a legalistic relationship with friends, family, or even your significant other. I do not. The legalistic part of marriage is the same. Its amazing that marriage follows the way our Father in heaven designed His relationship. I will not love my wife because a document told me i have to, but i will because my Father taught me. Love is a skill to be taught, which our world has lost.

Now that i have come to a crossroad, love and discipline are one.

Now this is definitely a hard subject to talk about, and have to mention, but our earthly fathers teach. Son-father relationships are so broken in our society, yet do not our fathers teach something. Some good, some bad. Habits are carried down because what our fathers have taught us and what we have kept to be true. It is by reason that we come to conclusion that what our fathers do are true. Yes, our fathers may chop us up and destroy us, but as a son of a once crazy father, i know that his mis-happenings did not arrive from him, but from his father. It travels. It never ends, until the son realizes there is something more to our earthly reality. In this moment can one realize that there is more than our earthly fathers love and discipline. Everything comes from our earthly father.

Hebrews 12:1-11 is a powerful passage that can influence an individual, congregation, and a community of believers. Looking at this passage verse by verse brings to life a call to understand the Father’s love for his children. A congregation or even a community must not focus on the treasures of this world, but Christ. The trials of a congregation or community reflect the love that the Father has and will continue to have. Sin is our greatest enemy as individuals and towards other people, but God the Father understands that this entanglement of sin must be taken off to be able to walk in the path set.

Trying to figure out this deep love is overwhelming because of the Father’s and Son’s love being infinite. Letting go of our sin allows us to believe beyond what we can see. This vast wideness and deepness of thinking is hard to grasp, yet as individuals and a body of Christ, there must be a sense of faith and belief. Our faith comes from Christ; nevertheless, the struggle to not be caught up in sin is a burden. The shedding of blood against sin reveals the understanding that Christ loved the church first. The church must have faith within and outside the four walls, understanding that even the church as a whole must shed blood to resist the temptations of sin. This concept reflects on the words Paul wrote in the second of four letters to the Corinthians.

Our world offers answers to psychological, biological, and scientific problems, yet can this view-point be true. The truth that we seek in this world belongs to the absolute truth that our heavenly Father knows. As a society, it is easy to label everything with a possible answer or hypothesis. Does that solve the answer? No. God the Father understands that in our finite stage we need love and mercy to understand purpose. The Father gives purpose by calling His people “children”, as children we need to be disciplined to be able to understand His absolute truth and not our own finite truths. Love is part of the Father’s heart and truth that alone was shown by allowing His one and only son to pay the price for our sins. By fixing our eyes on Christ, we can see the entangled parts of sin on our lives giving us the opportunity to truly receive Christ as our strength, comforter, and provider.

Personally, I had a God encounter with this passage, which made it that much more enjoyable and personal. Upon arriving back at home during spring break, I became lost in my old lifestyle. God was tugging my heart to realize that school was meant for much more than personal gain. He was preparing my focus for my summer season in which He would be my guider and Father. I personally become broken and was lost in becoming my old self when I was in a process of being transformed. Not knowing what passage to choose between Hebrews and 2 Timothy, I was drawn to Hebrews. I constantly prayed about it, fasted and sought out wisdom. That night I ended up going to a healing room at church, which I never been to and there it all started. Upon looking for guidance, I cried out and did not know what to expect. There I meet three pastors and told me to keep running the race and to not let go of my desires and look to Christ. I was amazed and knew God was alive. Then one of the Pastors stopped me before I left the room and read Hebrews 12. I could not stop crying and I just did not know how to react.

Since then I have been so amazed and holding on to that scripture with so much heart has been a blessing. It challenges me to drop my own desires and consider Christ’s afflictions. It challenges me to shed blood to fight sin, acknowledging Christ being the center of me. It calls me to put effort in finishing the race with the lack of sin. It surprises me that as a son of the Father I am called to be disciplined and taught. In awe, I did not understand that believers before me cheer me on. The rewards right now are not seen clearly, but one reward that I found is that salvation, comfort, joy, and all of God’s characteristics are the result of his discipline.