Job 2

Man, i have caught myself in a situation again. I feel so vulnerable, yet there is this longing for hope. As i read Job i am remembering my sufferings and where i once stood in the presence of You. Once again will i fall into You love. I am seeking in this world again huh? Do i long to seek happiness and not Your will. I do not know what to ask, because i feel so filthy, i have no reason to be before you father. I have been like a child trying to walk on my own and when you really want to hold me and take me up, i cry and even try to struggle on my own even if it mean crawling.

Father i am nothing like Job, for i do sin. I cannot be blameless in your Glory. Christ i ask for forgiveness. I ask for love. I have become so self-centered, looking for what others are getting. As a young man, i ask for the fathers guidance, because i been on this journey with only you. My story is with you writing it. I do not know if i am tested or going through such a trail, but please Jesus, know my heart and seek what is best. I cannot live without you even though i sin. You are all that i know. Nothing satisfies except your grace. Come like the wind. Help me to know the supernatural and know your love that is beyond comprehension. I long for You. Help me in school. Help me. I do not know what i am doing. I try to seek you, above all else, but am i doing something wrong. Christ see my hearts desires and clean them because in the mist of everything else you are there, you was, is and will be forever there. Please hear my cries and pains. I love you and i am thankful for the trials, because you made a way. It hurts, but Father have me see with my spirit. These senses distort what is of you. Calm my heart and quiet my soul for your burden is soft and light. Love you abba. Sorry for try to like her above you, cant help it. Guide me. Love you Savior. Love you.