Without You, I am Nothing

Father, Christ, can I understand what You are awakening in me?

Father it is by Your will that things are spoken into light and I just watch as darkness fades. I hear Your voice as I am convicted of my sins. I am seeking Your Love in all situations, for its You that pulled me from the valley of death. I thank You for showing me Philippians 2 as well as John 21.

I can relate to both passages today. First, it is out of this world that three times this week I heard about John 21 and how You asked Peter, “Do you love Me?” Especially last night at college service I was just speechless and knew that my mind and heart wanted to clash, but the sense of peace overcame all that junk. I felt last night while reflecting, as You were present in all my situations and my darkness in the past, I would have to be asked the same question as Peter. It is in these times that I was united closer to Your Love. It brings me a sense of hope, joy, peace, and truth of what Your all about. I still lack much, but as Your word says in Philippians, “if I have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from His Love, if any fellowship with the Spirit if any tenderness and compassion,” then I must consider others. I feel like I am being humble once again to the next level and as I continue to write I feel like weeping for all that I am is nothing without You. I find myself falling on my knees continuously. I just ask myself do I truly Love You and also my prayer before entering Biola, do I Trust You?

Looking back at this passage I feel like my heart is being convicted of following the Greatest Commandments. I feel as I cannot run for I have a Love that I will not find else where as well I have seen Christ be apart of me and my life. No matter how much I seek Christ’s heart through my own situations, I will not really find it, for it is in others that Christ shines too. By me not being selfish and looking for the interest of others, I can understand one more drop of Christ’s ocean size heart. It is by being one body and present for each other Christ opens up the heavens to break away chains of His bride. I know that by following His Love I can become more humble and understand that being humiliated also causes others to feel purpose. It is Christ heart to see His creation as equal, and by being humble and humiliated, it strips away any pride and boasting in which shines Christ’s heart and not mine. By this type of grace, we become the shining stars that Paul and Timothy write to the Philippians. By carrying my cross, I know it will encourage others to do the same and raise people back to life and awaken the heart.

I believe that Christ has put it in my heart to share what I have been gone through in life. That in my testimony is Christ’s story alive in me. In my daily life, I need to take the time to stop and realize that the world needs to hear the Love that opened up my eyes. I was planning to attending a $700 Jesus Culture conference with my friends this year, but I feel Christ is calling me to drop the thoughts of myself and finally see more of Him through people. I am saving money for a mission trip with my church and having my dorm mates collect bottles and cans throughout the semester to help support this new journey this summer. Although to bring this world to life, it starts with my heart understanding Christ’s heart and then living everyday as if the mission field is now. It is Him, Christ Jesus, that called me to life from the depth and it is time to follow.