Joining

I understand how beautiful the cross, I understand how much He loves me. Took me over three years of my walk to truly understand my identity, but I know from the beginning that He has called me to “follow” Him. Why do I know this? My heart has always fought and wrestled with Christ and I feel like I really did. I cried my way to sleep many times and would actually give Him all my anger, rage, hurt, pain, desires, feelings, just everything. I walked the valley of death. Just writing about it and thinking about it hurts me and makes me tear up, because I felt like I died. Everything was gone and in the end, it was Him. I told my self that soon I will live, that one day my Savoir will truly give me the life I have been given and go beyond religion and just love Him.

I think I have obeyed His call, because I truly cannot leave Him. I have grown to think about Him constantly, that I find myself acting like King David and Peter. I just cannot old my passion and yet other times I fall knowing that I need Christ to lift me out of the waters. I have not taught myself to truly memorize His word, but I always carry my Bible and know where to look for support while evangelizing. I love to read my Bible and journal, yet coming to Biola I believe that I am growing in a whole new way. I do replicate His lifestyle, yet I still have my sinful nature and will fall. I am not a perfect being, but I am in a relationship with Christ, in which He will teach me and guide me throughout my whole life.