Well yesterday the bubble burst. I could not hold on to what i was thinking was best for me. I had to let go and realize that i needed to be humble. I mean i am in a school that enjoy. I have met some awesome people yet, i was stretching myself so much for four bible classes and still driving home mon-wed and the weekends. I mean its overwhelming, yet being taught at a young age, i need to work hard, put all effort in, yet i also learned to be on my knees. So i guess i forgot the reason why i live and why i am in the situation im in. I have walked through the valley of death and i understood that i had to let Christ be apart of me. I mean my situations are so tiny to Christ, yet its so easy to think that our problems are bigger. I mean it is conception of fear that Satan allowed through the fall to have us, as God's creation, forget that the only thing we need to fear is God himself for His Word is beyond our comprehension.
So i had to drop my New Testament class. I had to tell my tutor that i can only drive back home monday and tuesday because i need to set up boundaries for myself as well. I mean i wear myself out so many times due to my nature of being so humble and conforming to peoples motives or wantings. I mean i was becoming so thin in my ability to take on my days. I need to relax and just live knowing my two goals.
Well yesterday i was shot in my pride, but i mean i am pretty much ahead in somethings, so why keep rushing. Thank you Lord for breaking me down and having me understand were the pain was coming from. I still have to take on things, but its a bit lighter now. Only through you i can stand.
"He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along."
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