Where Will I Go

So today was disappointing because i found out my Financial Aid paper work is take longer than expected to get finish, which means i have a chance of getting classes dropped and not going to school for a semester. Scary!!!! Well should i be scared cuz i am not sure what to feel. I have this calmness in me. Well i mean atleast i do right now. I feel secure in where ever i go, but there is a sense of fear still. I cannot stop thinking about what happened last night. I mean for me lots of people know that my relationship with my dad as been ugly and family has been through a lot, but last night just hearing him talk about God and the people he was been talking with at Water of Life is a huge testimony. I mean my dad even asked me to pray with him. I could help but think of all the times i felt the pain, the times i cried, the times i feel into drugs, and just many situations because of home. I am glad Christ heard every inch of my heart and soul. He made me into the man i am today.

Well today was also a wake up call for me. After seeing my friend go into shock, i had to think quick and remember what i had learn in my physiology. Yet i things were not clear and i had to dig for information that is long forgotten. I realize i need to focus in my studies and get into a hospital asap. I need to be in situation i know i am suppose to be in. Well just glad he was ok and it did not turn out bad.

Currently i want to be selfish, but i guess i cant. I wish things would work for the way i want to be or what i want to see. But i have no idea where i will go. I have no idea what it means to truly walk with Christ. Yea i jumped from the tree, but why do i keep looking behind me and looking at the tree i once sat in. Was it that comfortable?? Or was the view good? Where will i go and whom will i meet and what will i see and when will i accept and how will i lay life down?