Been reading Hebrews and in Hebrews 3 it mentions twice "Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts, as you did in the rebellion".
I was speechless, because like i am in some what in a sorry mode right now. Well i am also tired because of all the shots i had to take and then just getting over a cold. Gonna feel body aches like crazy. But really todays word from service told me to understand my dreams, my destiny, and that i may get distracted, but if i want to play with that toy when its not time to, He will take it away for He know i have much more to gain. After talking to Daryien about His experiences at Loma Linda, get me all fired up for my goal. That its a calling to just be in the hospital curing the sick spiritually, physically, and emotionally. Its that drive that i have lost, but know its in me. I know who i am and many times i try to become a little be more or little less of what i should be when i know that i am not. I know that i have many dreams and many things that i want to achieve. So i shouldnt have the disbelief for Christ leads many things. I heard His voice, so why get all harden. I should just keep kneeling. I person is not strong because of being strong, but a person is strong because he knows that by being around the strongest, Jesus, anything is overcome.
Tomorrow i get to see what my scheduled is going to be like at Biola. Its almost time. I am excited. Be awesome to just meet new people and just live the college life. Patients brings a well reward. But i am tired, been trying to get everything done. Lord help me.
Besides the good stuff their is always other stuff. Was kinda feeling low today; i know what i have done is some what behind me and things can never change, i got to live today and not yesterday. But i have taken two test for blood glucose and they were not in the range that it should be, its near, but not in it. Might to have to take multiple. I am some what anxious to see if i have Type 1 diabetes. I am some what worried, but who knows i can become someone to relate to diabetics. I dont mind being used, just got to be reminded where my strength comes from.
Reminds me of how vulnerable my body is. How one day you wake up and your life is changed. Why does it take for a health issue to have someone believe? I find it funny how physical fears remind us of how tiny we are. Imagine if everyday we just stopped and realize that our days our numbered. Maybe we would live different.
I was talking to my friends about this tonight at In-N-Out and its funny how when a person hears of Christ in a third world country they never let go of Him. Its like they understand that its all about Him. Then when the people of the nation or rebels try to smash them, they just spread and more pop up. Its like this in the middle east with all the Christian deaths. But here in America or in Europe, we are not smash for Satan is clever. He blinds us with media and the so called troubles of life. We have so much yet we have this unbelief. What is there to not believe when we have plenty. I envy those out in the chaos for they have belief and hunger. Here in America and wealthy nations we get caught up so easily. We forget our identity, our hope, our strength, our daily bread, our Love, our passion in life. No need to smash those who cannot see. Let them run into each other, thinking everything is some what okay. Let them feel the warmth of another, when in actuality they are lost too. There is more to life, this cannot just be it. He is mighty to save and mighty to lead your dreams. He knows best.
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