Testing, Cuz I am Tiny

Today was full of surprises. Well not really surprises, but just the fact that i am over thinking so much. I got to say i am afraid of what is to come. Its as if some times fog brings forth a storm or just the welcoming of the blue sky with the bright sun and warmth. Damn i know these next three weeks are going to be full of test. Its as if my emotions are ready to be tested after so much...not sure what to call it...but i guess calmness and strength given. I know in the past i been through so much crap, but i some how had Hope in the only thing i had left. Now that i have that One thing, can i hold on to it and trust? He is Love and Love comes with much cost, discipline, respect, fear, trust, hope, so many other things. I guess thats what it means to have that crazy Love He can only give.

I will ask of the same things King David asked for in Psalms. The way He writes is amazing and i wish i knew how to write with such creativity and vocabulary. Thats why this year i intend to write, take photos, and video blog when school starts. One thing in life i would like to do is write a book. Yet, every great books needs a good story and purpose. So as i live life i know one day it will come upon me. Still young and got so much to look for. I need to start running again, what happen to me dream of running a marathon and biking. Some times i find myself in still positions, when i should be spreading my wings.

Here is King David's prayer and as well mines:
"Oh! Teach us to live well!
Teach is to live wisely and well!
Come back, God-how long do we have to wait?-
and treat your servants with kindness for a change.
Surprise us with Love at daybreak;
then we'll skip and dance for the day long.
Make up for the bad times with some good times;
we've seen enough evil to last a lifetime.
Let your servants see what you're best at-
the ways you rule and bless your children.
And let the loveliness of our Lord, our God, rest on us,
confirming the work that we do.
Oh, yes. Affirm the work that we do!"

One thing remains. I see that His Love never fails. It never gives out on me. If i stumble He will catch me. I know my heart seeks Him more in the end. As long as He knows that, i know He can hold on to my life. Stupid to have people want to care for you, unless they understand your pain fully. I think thats why He ask us to pray for one another. Prayer some how links Him between everyone and some how we can truly understand one another as a body and go beyond human understanding. God doesn't miss a thing, he's alert to good and evil alike. God can't stand pious poses, but he delights in genuine prayers.

So much to learn. I do not think i can learn 1% of His Love thats why i need it 24/7 to give to others.