Day Three of Five

I am exhausted, beyond comprehension. My bones ache and my body wants its desires. I cannot continue without Your Love and support. Do not hesitate. Do not let me down. Do not let down the prayers of Your people. Many times i have failed and have fallen in shame. I have brought upon trouble when it should not have been. I ask that You see that i am giving what little of me i can surrender truthfully.

Tonight i was able to see a piece of Your heart and how much You want me to reach out. Everyone has a story. Everyone is full of pain, hurt, lost-full thoughts, guilt, loneliness, and everything that is part of trouble. I wanted so much to fill myself and try to think i can make myself into a better situation, but Your Love pulled me away. I guess i must lose my dreams. I must surrender to truly be filled.

I have this Hope. I have this desire to see You, to see You be apart of my life. I have this part of me that wants to surrender. I have this dream i can give up my dreams. I have this Faith that one day i can Trust You. Like i have mention many times i still have this sense of not fully trusting You Christ, because i am afraid of Your decisions. I believe You, but to have my flesh and mind trust You is beyond my strength.

Once again Father hear my prayers. Hear my heart. Guard it. Save it. Hold it. Let my prayers be worthy of hearing. You have called me by name. Take my hand and hold it. You are my shield, my rock, my stronghold. My soul is longing for You, yet my body is weak. Help me to surrender and trust You in my situations. Your ways are beyond mine, for i do not want to wrestle with You.

Is it worth it, is it worth it to walk with You? Truly Yes is the answer. I have been through to much to say no. I have to many experiences with You Jesus. From the good to the bad. But Your Love makes it worthy. Yet Father. Yet Christ, is it worth it to try to stick in this situation. I want to!! I want to truly put all of me into this situation, but i need You as well. This has been on my mind and i know not to fall like the past and i feel this strength to be strong, but should i not give up and stick with it. Is it worth it?? I surrender and i got to learn to trust You. Truly i do. Once again guide me with You sweetful Love. To give up my dreams, thats a though one. Move me from the inside, out. Thanks for hearing me. Love You.