Day One of Five

This journey that i have put before me this week is already difficult. Here i am standing, looking for my Savior to come. I have this anticipation, this hope, this filling that i know He will come.

It was awesome to spend time with my younger cousins. Having to take them bowling and just "kick-it" as my cousin said. Then running around Target and just coming over their house and playing with my other two younger cousins. Family is a blessing. Glad to learn that in my life at a young age. Then being able to talk about my faith with my aunt and uncle is even more a blessing. You can just tell that He is present and is watching over.

Still although today was great, the deepest parts of my heart still fear what is in front of me. It is scary to know that school is starting soon and i will have to take of loans and start the beginning of borrowing large amounts of money. Then as well having to pay a car payment and manage living. I am taking this to You, for i have no idea where to go for work. It is scary. I fear it. On top of that i see myself or my heart wanting to reach out to someone, but is it right? It is not easy for i really do not seek someone in my life, but as my eyes draw to individual i cannot help but try. I cannot help but show that i am who i am because i belong to You. In the end my soul longs for You, for when i see You reflected in them it only draws me more. I think over the past years i have grown to see the beauty in women who just long for You. Its funny, but makes a big different in relationships, the walk with You, and just life in so many ways.

I ask to fill my hearts desires in a way that only Your Love can fill. Continue to be the silver lining in the mist of the clouds. I believe so much in You, yet to trust is hard. It is hard because i lack giving up what is going to be lost in the end. Believing and trusting are two things of there own yet seem to be related. I hope that Christ You set my season. That in every season You have a purpose. Although the flames may be hot i will not burn. Although the waters rise i will not be washed away. In You i can have freedom from the chains of this world. I ask for Your Holy Spirit. I ask for Your guidance. I ask for Mercy and Grace. I ask for so much, but be the Lord that You are to be. The Word writes so much of You, do not let You son down. Be the light in me that shines out for others to see. I pray for my family, Step with Christ, Water of Life, my closest friends, my mom, my dad, my sisters, my cousins, those at WoL who are now apart of my journey, and just for my life. Only You have control of my situations and troubles. I fall before You, because only You can take everything i give and throw at You. Thats True Love.