December to Start

School has brought me to a position in which i have stopped writing. I understand that it is my hearts will to write, yet the flesh and mind are not. I am writing to tell myself that instead of waiting for New Years to start something, i want to just lay my life before my savior.

I feel as being patient is my toughest thing to do while in the mist of the moment, yet i know that it is needed. Love is patient. Something that seems to always make me happy to know my Christ is patient. Look back this has been my best Christmas season yet. I have been through so much in the past, but this is more. I really think with my small mind that i somewhat understand Christmas, yet i really dont.

My life has changed. I see the better days to come with my walk with Christ. I do not really have much in my life, but i see that he is all i need. I have so many chances to see my life change right now. There is schools i want to go to, the career path to walk, the viewing of my family struggle in God, yet grow, the chance to dance with a girl this Christmas, a chance to sing with my family and reach out to them, the chance of enjoying a new church, he change of a new car. A new is at its feet. The chance of just finally letting go a bit more. My heart turns to face the Lord. This is the day that i say that i want to receive the Lord.

Lord after reading psalms, i want to be able to stand in your court. Not to have the jury fight for my defense or have them love me. But judge, i want to call to my defense something more than anything. I want Christ. I want to see him make a way. In the mist of trial that i can learn and see my sins. That Christ can hold me tight like the potter that shapes a vase. Christ is soft as snow, rough as a hurricane, yet loving when he center of the eye is revealed. His center is calm, loving, and bright. HE needs to rough us, to soften our hearts. Thanks Christ. This week may i truly be patient for this event. You know my heart and prepare it. See to save your child, do not be one second late to protect me from everything. Walk the streets with me, drive in my passenger seat, and be next to me in my studies, but above all take hold of me when i cannot see or hear.

Psalm 51 Message.

I will praise you forever, O God, for what you have done. I will wait for your mercies in the presence of your people. Psalm 52:9 NLT