I Need to Spend More time With You

I honestly can say Lord, i feel the hatred of my heart start to grow. Its there, its lurking in the mist of my time with the world and once i start looking forward to You it becomes alive and hard to fight. Father i honestly hate my father. Its become such a pain in which i just do like it. I just have this hate in which man i just cannot think straight in this situation. For most of my worries at home are to not talk to him and just ignore him. It hurts yet i believe i should hate him for how he has treated my mom, my sister and me. A piece of my heart although wants to forgive and thats all. But most of all Father i wish to wake up and just spend time with you in some sense and not be lost in my day. Jesus you already know my path and you are surely to guide it, but please in the present be present. Be one with me and just guide me. With that i prayer the prayer you have thought me and all my brothers and sisters, because Jesus i will fall, but let your Kingdom come on Earth as it is in Heaven.