Lead Me 4

Christ it is true. I cannot find myself to trust you in such a way that it is a known feeling to not doubt. I do not know if it is my thoughts that make me think that i am not trusting you or if it is real. It is hard to control my emotions and thoughts because they are my worse enemy. They come like the robber at night. They are so smooth to enter in my life and just destroy what you have done. Lord i am not prefect, but you are. As a believer i ask to be your servant, but only by grace. Lord i ask that you teach me and guide me. I ask that i do not commit the wrong doings with the person whom i wish to be guided to. I have failed in the past, but i believe it was of your doing to make me stronger. I do not know when this will end, but help me to not fail again if by your grace. Help me to see the situation with your eyes and so i can rejoice and be the light that you speak of in your word. I use to think i was working hard to get to you, but now i see its not that i work hard, but i give up and just let you be my savior when i cannot act, see, do, or just live. You say to not live on bread alone, but the word and i believe you Jesus. You accepted everyone, yet you was pushed away and even told the word to your own people, yet they cannot listen. I feel like that at times, but i go back to you, but in the word. Lord my situation is in your hands, but do not let me screw up in the moment of emotions or thoughts. Guide them in a way, but still its by grace and i do not know if i should do what i am going to do. I wish for you to guide me, but the word does not directly say he stop or go. So whatever i do let it be controlled by you. I ask of you to take my request to the father. I ask you redeemer that you ask the father for support. That you ask the father to grant me mercy. If you ask the judge to provide wisdom by grace and most of all Love. I guess what i am saying Christ is that i trust you because you are my master in a sense that guides, but does not bring the trials along and but the father does. I do not know if that just my small human mind thinking to your almighty ways, but yea its just dumb. But in the end it is hard to trust, yet i see you as my only hope and way. Everything is in your hands Jesus. I ask that you ask the father to grant grace and love. I am sorry for everything, but thank you for be my life. Thank you for being something tangible and being my everything especially the creator of love. Thank you Savior.