What Do I Do?

Lord. My Savior, my redeemer, my healer, my Father. What do i do? How do i do? Or do i do what i think i want to do? Lord, i do not want to fall again in this way. What i mean is that i do not want to think that my riches are from my own strength and not to enjoy in them. I do not want to be caught up in my own destruction and fail again to my emotional stupidity. I am long for that truth that you alone can give. You alone can be that rock that i need. But when i sing that song and i think my savior, my redeemer, my everything. Do i really want to be selfish about you too? Do i want to say hey his my savior and not yours? No i do not think i would. I want to say he will be there for you. Lord Jesus in my situation it may not look as if death has reached my body. But again i come to you with a mind, a heart, a spirit with anticipation. My prayer is not focused really on you, yet i know its you that i seek in it. My prayer is not to fulfill self deeds, but the flesh is. Yet Lord if it is your will take thy cup and fill with your spirit. I do not understand your knowledge and plans, but i know i will understand your heart more. It will never be completed until i see you face to face. I pray Lord that you will fill this cup and not the poor emotions that i bring and not the words of human lips and tongues. For they may help for a second, but your word and love is eternity. It is over my head lord with this situation. I find myself in a state of wanting answers in a speedy processes, but i know i do not want that too. My savior let be that if you do fill my cup, that it will overflow to the right people. For those people can be filled not by me, but you. You know my heart and desire. I feel like its a gift from you. It may hurt, but your protecting me. I would be lost fully, yet i am here talking and writing to you. Let your love and glory fix what i have become and done. It may be your will, but if i did delay or offset what was planned, protect me from certain destruction and bring a new again. I will go through the waters and fires, but i will not drown or be burnt. I will be protected by the armor of my redeemer. Let that be passed down to others. I prayer for her to just be strong. She has a lot on her plate. I know it is funny that i still like her, but it is your will. I do not want to bug or chase her, but i want to wait for her and i want to just show her i am there for her, not as a person, but a brother in Christ. I know that college is tough, the sense of how life is falling is always near. The thought of school, work, LIFE. Is so much to bare. Sometimes i feel like i run away from it too. But i need you and she needs you and we all need you. The church, my family, my friends, and this world of yours. Savior, Please take this prayer and let your will fall. For you alone. For you alone. Selah. For you alone can bring us hope, be the remedy for the sick, lost, and hurt. For you alone can bring love like no other. What do i Do???? I seek your guidance and not mines, please if i do something that you stop me. You alone can stop me. For you are who you are.