Stop Sleeping and Be Awake

I live in a world in which the way we are brought up is that we need to worry for ourselves. That what concerns us is what is most important. I know it is good to care for yourself, but i know one man that did not follow that norm. His name was Jesus. Lol funny start to this journal. Lord i ask of you to guide me. I seek for your strength. I will right down what we talked about at service today. First of the book of Ephesians 5:6-21. Lord you ask us to be pure for your light is meant to shine from us. Like Shane talked about how you created us in your palm and intended that your light was only meant to be with in us. Lord as it says be exposed to the light, please do expose me. I am in a sleep in which i need to be awaken. I need to realize how much you are to my life. My life is nothing without you. By that in the people i meet, the classes i take, the time im at the gym, eating, sleeping, everything, i got to have with you in it, if not its weird how the day becomes. I find myself driving on the freeway fast to come back from school or going to school and i try not to be all crazy. Yet i still make comments to other people driving. Im not better than them, yet i reflect that. I am glad that i am able to catch myself in the act, yet so hard. But i know you will change me.
I am glad that you have spoken to me about the issue that seemed to be so dramatic for me. I know it is selfish of me, but thats me. But back on subject i am glad that this "Sex Rehab" at water of life was something i did need. Even though i did not have sex, it brought up so many issues that i was having. Hebrews 13: 4-8. This passage is so true to keep ourselves pure. I have been trying to control so much of my dating life and almost lost my sex life. But you was guarding my heart. For you will never leave me nor forsake me. Lord i will love for you to have your way. Because i have been doing so many things wrong and looking at my past so much. I see that hope now. I see what it means to have things be in your hands. I first want to love you. From that you will be my center. That center that will follow me to the ends of the earth. Carry me to your arms for even myself will become blind and fall asleep in the light. I know time and time again i will fall, but you will be the same at yesterday, today, and forever. So Lord by your will that you come within me and awaken me for your use. Because i do not want to see loose myself again, but if anything i would rather have my heart for you clear. I do not know what i mean by that, but i feel like i would let go of everything just for you. But i know i have to help others know who you are. Your the savior of all. Your my savior. So i do not wanna sleep again. Because i would rather be ready. Like you said that you will come like the thief in the middle of the night. So i cannot be asleep.