Not to Give Up

Lord, my faith is like a roller coaster. I cannot find myself enjoying the times i fall. Its as if when i use to be afraid of heights. I am like that in my faith. I still do not want to be in this motion, but should i be in it? I do not understand the meaning of going through the motions, help me to understand you Jesus. Help me to number my days and just have full confidence in your love. I have failed so many times and continue to do so. But please make every situation yours. Especially with church and her. I must not lose my confidence for you already told me to be patient. Lord i am always reminded of your disciple Peter. He was so anxious and ambitious to fallow you. Yet he still lacked faith and denied you. I do not know if that day will ever happen, but when i does because i am human, forgive me Lord. Denying you can also mean not trusting you. Man i have so much to learn. I know i will lose this emotion, because my emotions toy with me. Please bound this weakness and make it yours. Please protect me from failure. Father your guidance is all i need. Yet i always look for satisfaction. Hear my cry Lord and shape my prayers for the right intentions. Shape my heart for your will. Lord guide me in my schooling, my quest to go on a mission trip across the world, to head to hillsong college for a year, to fix my relationships with everyone. You are my savior. I feel like i am asking so much and many around the world have so little. I do know how to deal with that mind set. Only you can show me through your wisdom. Thanks you Lord. I wont give up trying to have full faith in you. When that day comes i will be able to walk on water.