Lord, Set Me Free

The sounds of life, destroying my insides, destroying my identity. Its rolling over again. Lord, this is so difficult, because the pain is coming from every where. Yes, i was happy to be going to Water of Life, but a peace of me says go back. So i did, i sat there at church like i was no one. Like i was just there, or that at least how i feel. Its as i came back to pain and anger. This anger is building is, now become so mixed of problems, where i do not know what is causing it. I do not want to tuck it in again this week. It is not good. Lord, please hear my crying voice for your love. Just your love. I need it Lord. I need to feel you warmth, your heart, your arms around me saying "I am here". Because i, i, i just do not know. I do not know who i am. The fear of being alone is coming true, i do have friends, but the fact of leaving church says i start a new path with no support or comfort from other remnants. Then yesterday me smoking. I thought how much it was stupid, why would i do it, why is this anger towards you, why would i enjoy something you supposedly set me free from. I do not know Lord. Christ, what the hell em i doing? Where the hell em i going? What is this i feel? How much i feel confused. Please protect me Lord. Your everything i got. Nothing more. I need you to be in me. Guide me. Lift me up. Help me rise above this valley. I guess i am scared to fall, scared to face the true pain. But what is that Lord. Jesus help me understand, what only you can understand. By that just, i need your love Lord. Your Love CAN ONLY SET ME FREE.